Welcome to this week’s fashion blog. Sob sob, it’s my final week in the Balearics this summer holiday. I’m in Mallorca for the last few days and we’ve hit mosquito season. Having avoided sunburn and retention of white bits all summer, now nights are spent itching and scratching.

To those of you stuck on the M25 in the rain on your way to work, this is probably one of those problems you couldn’t care less about. But sleepless nights are not a great way to end a holiday for anyone, and it’s the one negatives of being located somewhere coastal in the Med.

So I investigated some unusual mosquito repellents and some theories so stop these ugly red bites from spreading across our skins.

Here are a few interesting solutions:

On the hunt for a new perfume? Kill two birds with one stone by dabbing on some of Victoria’s Secret Bombshell Eau de Parfum. In a study of various mosquito repellents, researchers found that Victoria’s Secret’s delicious smelling Bombshell perfume kept the yellow fever mosquito and the Asian tiger mosquito away for roughly two hours!

This is a real anomaly in the world of perfume, since mosquitoes are usually attracted to floral, fruity scents. But not so with this mosquito repelling perfume. Mosquitoes hate it…and it smells good to humans.

Mosquitoes are drawn to carbon dioxide, so hanging out with people who breathe more heavily than you do, might keep the mosquitoes away from you. Larger people and pregnant women are top choices. Blood-suckers have also been shown to be attracted to beer drinkers, so getting a large, beer-guzzling BFF might do the trick.

Want wonderfully moisturized, sinfully soft skin that also repels mosquitoes? Of course you do. Simply rub yourself down with some of Avon’s Skin So Soft bath oil whenever you venture outdoors.

On to this week and we check out the bargain of the year if you’re a shoe fanatic, look at the world of crotch bling and see the return of the iconic 90s metallic chain dress.

The 90s brought us many a trend, from crop tops and chokers, to dungarees and grungy plaid shirts. All of which have come back into fashion – much to our horror/delight.

And if that era was your heyday, back then you might have tried to copy Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell in their mini chain mail dresses, complete with diamond jewellery and dramatic silver-blue make-up.

Well guess what? Those little mesh frocks are back in various forms, and it’s all thanks to Gucci and the Kardashians.

When the Italian fashion house showcased their crystal bodysuit at Milan’s AW17 Fashion Weekback in February, chain mail proved to be a popular choice for Coachella, with Rihanna showing off the look with a Gucci tee vest and ripped shorts.

And reality star Kim Kardashian is the latest to don the glittering one piece, showing off her curves on Snapchat for a photoshoot. But the mum-of-two is no stranger to the skimpy material.

Younger sister Kendall Jenner is also a fan of the look, stepping out in a glittering LaBourjoisie chain mail dress to celebrate her 21st birthday last year – reminiscent of Paris Hilton’s party outfit back in 2002.

While most 90s comeback trends are easy to wear, this is one you should proceed with caution. One wrong move and you could end up flashing more than you intend to, not to mention it’s not the easiest of fabrics to sit down in – ouch.

EVER wanted to copy Carrie Bradshaw and own your own pair of Manolo Blahnik shoes, but can’t afford the price tag?

Well, Zara are stocking a pair looking just like Blahniks… at £650 cheaper than the designer version.

So you can live the Sex and the City life with these Zara “copycats” for a purse-pleasing £49.99, a staggering reduction on the originals, which sell for over £700.

These bright pink numbers sport slingback heels with a pointy toe and can be bought from the website. They are also available in blue and feature beading on the front, similar to the pair made famous by the sex column on the hit show.

The heel height is 2.2in so the shoe could be the perfect choice for both day and night.

You’ll have to be quick to get your hands on a pair, as the website is sold out in a number of sizes already.

Once again, well done Zara.

There’s a bizarre new trend of crotch charms, straight out of Japan making fashion waves on beaches everywhere. They hang down from the bikini bottoms for added bling.

Seeing a recent online post about the new fashion, one girl wrote: “What the hell did I just read? I haven’t clicked the link yet… I’m scared to”.

The post sparked a brilliant response from other women – and a few gross suggestions.

One wrote: “Just accessorise a tampon string with some clip-on earrings and you can easily recreate this look!”

I suppose if they’re laid across underwear and dangled it wouldn’t be too bad… still a bit weird though.

It all reminds me of the 1970s S&M novel, The Story Of O. The heroine has a loop ear-ring type thing attached to her intimate area, with a long gold chain on it, and some bloke leads her around like that. Yuck.

The uncomfortable looking jewels, which start at £15, are made by Japanese company BoDivas and marketed as “sexy charms for bikini crotch”.

We’re in the middle of August and as much as I love spending a chunk of my summers on the Balearics, this month, and this week in particular, it’s so busy it’s actually annoying.

The negatives.

The Ibiza traffic is so heavy that a simple 20-minute trip to the airport now takes an hour.

Getting off a plane takes longer than flying from Gatwick to Ibiza, because it seems as if there are only 2 or 3 buses available to lug all the passengers from 20 or more planes from tarmac to terminal. And trying to get out of the airport is like leaving Wembley stadium after the Cup Final at full time.

Tables are full in restaurants, car park spaces are few, and there’s the usual complaint about Italian male tourists pinching the bottoms of English girls in front of their boyfriends.

Mallorca isn’t as bad – mainly because it’s a larger island and its infrastructure can better accommodate the masses. But you’ll be hard pressed to find a space on beaches, whichever you go to.

The positives.

The crap mid July-mid August weather in the UK means last-minute tourism to Spain has increased by 150%. Plus Love Island’s massive popularity and lasting legacy means Mallorca is perhaps overriding Ibiza in the young tourism stakes.

The ‘Love Island’ look is everywhere too. It’s my job to spot trends and the ‘Boobs & Bum’ with ‘Lips & Sunnies’ and ‘buff bods with smart hairdos’ image is to be seen all-over the streets of San Antonio and Magaluf.

I don’t mind this at all. It means we’re all a little more health and body conscious and less ‘lager lout’ and beer-belly tolerant.

So from my summer observations to this weeks blog, we check out autumn /winter ’17 trends, Oriental fashion and a must-have for girls with large bosoms.

Enjoy.