BLOKES are forking out £550 for Botox injections on their balls. The procedure is said to help smooth the testicles and iron out unsightly wrinkles.

Image-conscious men are going to new lengths to make their intimate areas look great.  If penis enlargement surgery and pearling wasn’t dedication enough, chaps are now getting their balls Botoxed. And I thought we women were vain.

The ‘Scrotox’ procedure costs £550 and is said to be highly painful. A medical director at Australia’s CALIBRE Clinic, says there’s been a surge SCROTOX procedures. Next stop? Bossa Beach? Santa Ponsa Beach? Brighton Beach?

While some opt for the treatment for medical reasons, others do it to make their testicles look more appealing to their partners. The most common medical reason is because their scrotum is tightly contracted, squeezing up on their testicles, with painful results. The relaxation of the scrotum helps the testes to hang a bit lower and offers some relief.  

Patients claim the op makes their balls look smoother and less wrinkly. Some also say it can reduce redness and sagging.

As with any surgery, Scrotox does have its risks. To carry out the procedure, surgeons inject muscle-relaxing Botox into the testicles. The scrotum is a very vascular organ, and there is a potential risk for the Botox to travel throughout the body if injected incorrectly.

If you are self-conscious about your intimate areas, suffice to say it’s advisable to seek the advice of your GP.

Girls, put down the razors! The ‘full bush’ is back in fashion.

Yes, there’s no need to worry about hair removal anymore. According to commentators, the full bush is the pubic hair style many women are opting for right now.

The WAX AXE is great news, because maintaining a smooth bikini-line is no mean feat. From shaving rash and in-grown hairs, to finding the time, to agonising waxing, going bare definitely has its drawbacks.

A New York-based expert in this ‘field’ attributed this trend to women choosing function over fashion. “Women are becoming increasingly aware that our bodies are a lot more than the visual or sexual playthings.

The feminist approach to hair removal is nothing new. Celebrities including Gwyneth Paltrow and Emma Watson have spoken out about leaving their pubic region au-natural.

The Harry Potter star said she uses oil to keep her fuzz nourished and soft. “I use fur oil. It’s an amazing all-purpose product.”

You might to want to read the Balearic Bikini article in this week’s instalment before deciding on this. Ibiza beach-goers don’t seem to have necessarily got the message.

Welcome to July.

Welcome to the Heat.

Last weekend, I rounded off all my “all of June” birthday celebrations with a quiet weekend in Mallorca. It was meant to be a relaxing Fri-Sun Balearic break. But by Saturday afternoon I was on a plane back to London.

Why? Because it was too bloody boiling and I couldn’t sleep a wink in the killer 40-degree heat.

Even under a powerful air-con unit, I couldn’t cool down and tossed, turned (and sweated) all night long.

I couldn’t even enjoy driving around in the glorious sunshine with the roof down. I should probably be used to Spanish summers by now, but this weekend wasn’t a typical summer weekend anywherein Europe. It was one of the most uncomfortable heatwaves on record, with temps in the 40s everywhere. 

So how do we sleep in a heatwave?

So, I flew home early, only to get off the plane at 8pm to 35 degrees in “tropical” Luton.

Choose Egyptian cotton bed sheets. Save the ooh-la-la satin, silk, or polyester sheets for autumnal nights. Feel the freezer burn. Stick sheets in the fridge or freezer for a few minutes before bed.

Get cold comfort loose PJs and create a cross-breeze with open windows and (quiet) fans. A cooling water spray for the back of the neck stops the old sweats.

Do I sound like an old lady yet? I hope not. Anyway – here’s to full-on summertime.

This issue is all about Festival fashion as we check out the trends at Glastonbury. I felt terrible just watching Kylie sweat in that red jumpsuit…. Here I go again. Gardens and pools will be filled with poo this year plus the interesting combination of Nike Trainers and kitten heels.

Just about every year, two hundred thousand revellers from all over Europe head to the UK’s Worthy Farm for our very own Coachella– the biggest festival of all, Glastonbury.And theytake their fashion sense with them.

Glastonbury is a place where rules don’t apply and people go wild with their clothes, hair, makeup and modesty.

Over the years we’ve seen the return of bumbags, the arrival of the flower crown and the evolution from Kate and Sienna’s Hunter wellies to Timberland boots and Dr Martens.

But what were the fashion must-haves at Glasto 2019?

The Water Bottle & The pared back look

2019’s Glastonbury weekend coincided with a serious heatwave in the UK, which meant that layering up and going overboard were the last things on most people’s minds. Those iconic muddy fields and muddy legs seemed like a distant memory. With 2019’s ban on plastic water bottles, the result was standing in scorching queues to fill up your reusable water-bottle – this year’s must-have accessory. And everyone was given one of these Glastonbuy water bottles, which will become collectors items.

Clothing wise, less was more.

Girls and boys had no choice but to go with a shorts and vest / t-shirt look this year, but it didn’t prevent a fashion spectacle. We witnessed all shapes and sizes, as long as it was minimal, practical and simple.

Jogging shorts

Kim Kardashian started a trend when she stepped out wearing jogging shorts, or ‘lycra cycling shorts’ as some of the older festival regulars would describe them.

Girls were rocking them left, right and centre this year. Although they are unforgiving, they’re simply 2019’s most popular summer fashion item.

Rainbow Hair

The skies were blue, the fields were green and the sun was a scorching yellow. And 2019 Glasto hair was every colour of the rainbow. As long as it isn’tnatural – it’s in. Most popular were lilacs and pinks, paired with equally bright sunglasses.

Tea Dresses and Boots

A classic. A pretty floral number teamed with either Doc Martins, Buffalo trainers or Timberland walking boots. The chunkier, the better.

Simple and easy – particularly if you need to go to the loo – the day dress and boots is always a great option. This is my recommendation

It says you “didn’t put too much effort into your outfit” – even though you probably did – and avoided making you like you woke up in a tent. Even though you definitely did.

Neon

It doesn’t look like this one is going anywhere any time soon. I’d say 50% of girls were decked out in neon leotards, tops and skirts over the Glastonbury weekend, and it blended in with the atmosphere perfectly. Not quite 80s Acid House Neon – more 2020s futuristic take.

The Flower Crown

Now personally, I don’t think we Brits own this look. It is more Coachella, but this boho hippy accessory is bigger and better than ever before. The flower crown is back this summer, and for me it’s the ultimate festival fashion statement.

Gone are the subtle crowns – this year was all about the huge arrangements. Think Glasto meets Ascot.

70s Stripes

It was like seeing ABBA everywhere you turned – and what could be better than that? Probably another ‘Kardashian’ offering, but it’s fun and  so very ‘festival meets disco’. Maybe best to lose a pound or two before you venture into this look though…

Just when you thought it was safe to get into the water… OMG, it’s a FLOATER!

Last year was all about the watermelon slice or unicorn inflatable. This year, poo rules the roost. 

More specifically, this.

                                                                                                    B&M £19.99                             

The bargain retailer has rolled out an inflatable loo pool float with emoji poo sticks, so you can stay in the shit this summer. Each set includes two giant toilet-shaped floats for you to sit on, as well as two poo emoji batons. Bizarrely, B&M’s called it a “poo fight pool float”.

But really, what better way to spend a sunny day than duelling with your mates to see who gets flushed first? The toilet float comes in the size of 112cm x 76cm x 61cm, while the batons are 141cm long.

If that’s too ‘blokey’ for you, then here’s something (slightly) more sophisticated ‘ladies’ who wish to float in the proverbial. Amazon are selling this giant inflatable poo emoji pool floating sun lounger.

£18.99 by Walaha

At the very least, images of shit filling our pools will take us back to our earliest childhood memories. 

Kitten heels made from Nike trainers have been hailed ‘the summer shoe of 2019’, and footwear fanatics have described the bizarre shoes as everything from “brilliant” to “disgusting”. As for me, I find them quirky and cool in a “Lady Ga Ga” kind of way.

Romanian designer Ancuta Sarca, based in London, has given the classic trainer a complete makeover. Ancuta ‘upcycles’ an assortment of different shoes, but her ‘Nike collection’ is proving the most controversial.

Sharing snaps of her footwear on Instagram, Ancuta’s posts have been liked thousands of times. She captions posts with a variety of phrases, including “Nike all the way please”, “same old trainers”, “in my upcycled croc Nikes” and “upcycled shoes by me.”

With a pair of cut offs and tanned legs this summer, I reckon they’ll be a fun talking point and reasonably safe to wear when falling out of a club or pool party.

The fact that they are colourful makes them a great party shoe, and if you’re brave enough, you could pair them with tights or jeans in cooler temperatures.

I’d sooner wear these than the talked-about bejewelled Crocs. In fact, they take the athleisure look to another level. Ancuta has given trainers a completely new function, pushed the boundaries and I salute her.

Their official title is the ‘Frankenstein Nike Hybrid’. Check out her Instagram: ancutasarcafor prices.

These celebs turned heads in daring low-cut frocks at Sunday’s TV Baftas.Leaving me wondering how they avoided that most dreaded of wardrobe mishaps.

Sagging boobs.

The secret is simple – here’s an £8 breast tape put to the test with all those revealing outfits that require your boobs to be “perter” than a girl on the moon.

Susanna Reid, 48

The presenter looked stylish in her sheer and embellished neckline.

Step 1: Place the tape vertically over the breast, starting underneath, going over the nipple and finish at the top, pushing up and in as you go.

Step 2: Repeat the action for each side, leaving the middle clear for cleavage.

 It keeps the bust in place and minimises the risk of any wardrobe malfunctions. Plus, you won’t feel restricted in it.

Jodie Comer, 26

The Killing Eve actress  had a style to die for with this asymmetric neckline gown.

Step 1: Begin by applying under the armpit and stretching up to the shoulder to create a lift.

Step 2: Apply tape to opposite breast by placing diagonally across body, pushing the breast in as you go.

Step 3: Secure at the same point on the shoulder as the previous strip.

Step 4: Finish off with a strap across the body underneath the breasts for extra support, and place over nipple covers.

This one really defines the shape of one’s boobs and makes sure they’re going to stay in place and look their best. Bit have far more support than in a regular strapless bra.

Keeley Hawes, 43

The Bodyguard star might well have needed an escort in this strapless neckline dress.

Step 1: Start with tape under bust for a slight lift, apply from bottom of your armpit and stretch horizontally across the body, finishing at the other armpit.

Step 2: Keep bust in its natural position as you go.

Boobsaren’t going anywhere – they’re going to stay firmly in place all night long, even when you hit the dancefloor.

Charlotte Hawkins, 43

The Newsreader wore this structured plunge style.

Step 1: To keep your bust in place in a low-cut, structured neckline, tape from under the armpit, horizontally across the breast, finishing just past the nipple. Repeat on the other side.

Step 2: Create cleavage by taping diagonally from under the armpit and into a point on the torso.

This has pushed her boobs together to create a nice firm cleavage. Surprisingly it’s really comfortable and feels like everything is where it should be.

DJ Maya,  Stormzy’s other half,  shimmered in a push-up neckline, ina white dress with tassel details

Step 2: Push the breast up from underneath and finish off with tape under the armpit.

Step 3: Repeat on the other side to make a cross shape, creating a more defined cleavage.

This look is quite uncomfortable – I couldn’t imagine spending the whole night like this. But the support is so good. It really adds volume to your chest.

Rochelle Humes, 30

This isa super low-plunge neckline frock.

Step 1: Start with the tape under the breast, push the breast up and apply tape, reaching to the shoulder.

Step 2: Repeat on the other side – leaving a gap for cleavage.

Boobs have been lifted so well here, there’s no chance of them moving.

This is great for plunge dresses that are usually difficult to find undies for.