Strung Out

Yes, I know.  Summer is all but done (says she, sunbathing in the garden), but with this UK Indian summer, I still have a degree of justification for discussing swimwear. 

I’m officially giving you the heads up for summer 2020, because THIS is the next trend you’ll need to prepare for.  And I’ve had less intrusive internal examinations.

Cast your mind back to the beginning of this summer. You’ll recall that the Brazilian cut bikini – bum cheeks out – was/is everywhere. Apparently worn regardless of shape, size or age.

Well, just when we were beginning to reassure ourselves that the Brazilian trend was some sort of blip in the fashion space-time continuum, an American swimwear brand has gone and confirmed all our fears.  The swimwear witnessed in summer 2019 is a style that just refuses to go away. But in 2020, it will be all OUT FRONT.

Revival Swimwear has sent models down the catwalk at New York Fashion Week in some of the most extremely high-cut bikini bottoms I’ve ever seen. It hurts just looking at them.

First up was a black belted one-piece, which looked normal enough at first glance with its demure neckline and buckle detail.

But the extremely high-cut bottoms would threaten to flash your “intimate area” if you ever dared to wear them out in public. And for reasons I can’t comprehend, Revival has also brought out the risqué one-piece in white – just in case it couldn’t be any more impractical.

But it doesn’t just end with one-pieces. Scooping up the award for “Bikini Most Likely to Give You Dodgy Tan-lines” is the brand’s equally high-cut and circular studded swimwear.

Along with an extremely uncomfortable-looking set of bottoms, both items in this two-piece have circular gaps which may just make you delete all your holiday pics.

High-cut bottoms aren’t the first wildly impractical swimwear trend we’ve seen this year. The under-boob seems to be as popular as ever too.

November, please hurry up and get here so that we can all safely snuggle up in knits, sweats and Ugg’s.