Intimate Xmas Lights

Boohoo.com have done it again. At just £4, they’re a bit of a bargain if you happen to fancy decking out your boobs in festive fashion for the holiday season.  They would also make a funny secret Santa gift for your mates.

But I’m not quite sure what to make of the quirky nipple stickers. In fact, I’m rather confused about why they exist. For a (very un-PC) office Xmas party?

It’s worth noting that Boohoo recommends that you perform a skin test 24 hours before wearing the nipple stickers and that you don’t wear them for over eight hours – so no falling asleep before peeling them off.

If you want festive nipple covers, but green and red tinsel pompoms aren’t your style, Boohoo is also selling them shaped like sparkly red presents.

And it’s not just the girls who are likely to look stupid this Christmas. Guys can now give their facial hair a festive overhaul with fairy lights.

On sale now is 18 nano lights for your beard, which change colour and flash – the perfect way to add a touch of pizzazz to your ’tache. The £10.99 set clips easily into beard hair but a word of caution, these lights should not be worn on a wet beard or outdoors for safety reasons. Likewise, you should probably avoid dousing them with beer or wine. A touch safety challenge during the Christmas festivities.

The lights come suspended on a 90cm cable (suitable for even a Gandalf-sized beard), which clips onto hair “painlessly”.

So, girls and boys, if you’re hammered enough to carry these off, good luck to you. Make sure you take plenty of festive pics, to remember the occasion.

Available at www.firefox.com

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