The ‘tacky’ way brides and grooms are trying to earn their wedding fund back
We talk a lot about ‘tacky’ wedding guest etiquette. Like wearing a white dress (of course, you shouldn’t outshine the bride), not RSVPing on time, or using your phone during the ceremony.
But it seems as if the (wedding) tables have turned. It’s now the newlyweds themselves who have been called out instead for ‘tacky’ and cavalier behaviour.
On X, people have shared how newly wedded friends held a ‘plate auction’ at their reception to raise cash for their honeymoon, with the winning guest donating £1,113 for the privilege of being served the wedding reception meal before anyone else.
Although there were some who saw the funny side, the backlash was intense, with some writing: ‘Sucks that weddings are just a money grab. Selling a plate of banquet food, that has already been paid for, at your wedding to your close friends and family, is shameful behaviour.’
It’s not the only way brides and grooms are trying to recoup costs. Some couples are asking attendees for donations for tracks being played at the reception, at between £19 to £75 per song request.
Another ‘ploy’ is sending out ‘You Were Missed’ cards to those who couldn’t attend the wedding, with a note at the end directing them towards the gift registry.
In the US – a new sideline is to ‘sell tickets to strangers’ for up to £150. Truly appalling. The film ‘Wedding Crashers’ comes to mind.
To be fair, weddings put everyone out of pocket. Given the average wedding now comes in at £23,250, it’s (somewhat) understandable that couples are looking for creative ways to manage their budgets, but surely striking the right balance between making the day unique and ensuring guests feel welcome and valued is paramount.
While some guests might find these approaches fun and light-hearted, others could feel uncomfortable about being asked to pay to participate in the celebration – especially when they have probably already laid out quite a bit to be able to attend itself. Think hotels, transportation and the the wedding outfit… etc.
I’d suggest that the most delicate and elegant way to have guests contribute to wedding costs, is requesting honeymoon funds instead of gifts, a request that is becoming increasingly popular.
