Welcome to November Zipsters, and as the last pumpkins get cruelly binned, Xmas decorations go up in shopping malls all around the world.
My local mall already had a full-on nativity scene on November 1st, and the fragrances and cosmetics gift ideas are in full force from Boots to John Lewis.
Yawn, I hear some of you say. But this year, perfumes and make-up have taken on a racy new image, to spice up Xmas ’17.
Tom Ford’s new perfume is called ‘FUCKING FABULOUS’. It’s a gear change for the designer, who has previously favoured more literal fragrance names – Tobacco Vanille, Tuscan Leather, Venetian Bergamot. FF is maybe not one for your in-laws.
And there’s more. Nars has created Orgasm – a blush colour that makes you look like, well, I think you can guess. Plus there’s Threesome, Sex Appeal and the pigmentally similar Deep Throat.
The high street has also embraced provocative and “rude” cosmetics, with brands such as Soap & Glory marketing innuendo-laden products, from Sexy Mother Pucker lip shine to Glow Job tinted foundation. Too Faced’s Boudoir Eyes palette skipped the puns entirely, with shadows titled Fuzzy Handcuffs and French Tickler.
Urban Decay has its own selection of suggestive cosmetics, including a blusher in Fetish (a name shared with a lipstick by Mac) and a lip-gloss in ‘Rule 34’ (meaning internet porn). Illamasqua takes a more straightforward approach, with its rubber-finish nail varnish Kink and an eye shadow simply called Sex.
So, take your pick this festive season, and expect plenty of blushes under the Xmas tree. Perhaps two sittings of present-giving might be in order.
Onto this week’s instalment, and as the temperature drops we check out Winter Coats, we explore the new H&M Erdem collection and take a look at the weirdest winter fashions right now.